I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my life, and where I am, how far I’ve come, and where I’m headed. 10 years ago, I was this bright eyed, naive girl graduating high school with big dreams of being a world class businesswoman. The world was at my feet. Nothing was stopping me. When I pictured 10 years from now, I always expected to be out of my parents house, married, a full blown career woman, and successful. I never expected that my world would change so drastically. I’ve been to hell and back. I continually get beat down, but somehow, I’m still chugging along.
I look at people my age, and can’t help but feel so stagnant and keep comparing myself to everyone else. They’re starting families, getting dream jobs, outright being awesome at being awesome. I look at myself and think, “man, this is sad. I’m still living at home, I don’t have a career. I don’t have a degree. Look at them passing me by.” And feel like I’ve accomplished nothing. However, there’s no comparison. I’m doing so much everyday, and it’s always overlooked. I’m fighting a life threatening disease. It takes everything that I have to fight everyday. The slightest trigger could kill me at any second! So, to compare myself, is utterly ridiculous. I’m doing more than others. I’m putting a smile on my face and LIVING. So, I might not be where I pictured myself 10 years ago, but I’m stronger than I’ve ever been. I might not have a degree, but I’ve learned so much about my body and this disease that I should. I might not have the family I expected to have, but I have a pretty awesome family (immediate blood family and my best friends) instead, who I wouldn’t trade for anything. I’ve had to learn how the word “success” has multiple meanings. I may not be “successful” in an ordinary, but I think that I’m successful in my own way.
So starts age 28. I’ve come so far. I am stronger than I ever expected to be. I know how to be a friend. I know how to treat others. I can’t wait to see what other “successes” I’m going to accomplish.
Love you all,